your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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