he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
