Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
