Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
