the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
