I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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