You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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