if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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