hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
