was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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