You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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