Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
