i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
