You're my little dorito
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
