I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
