thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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