Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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