the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
