if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize