She said her name was "party"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
