How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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