My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize