He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize