I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
