I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She bit a glass in half.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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