i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize