her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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