just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
