he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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