I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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