She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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