Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
