shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
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I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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