Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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