Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
