Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
