Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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