I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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