I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
