How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
