i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
