glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
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any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
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Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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