I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
