And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
