I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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