were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
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Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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