He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.