I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
