I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
