When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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