Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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