can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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