yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
whose parrot is this?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
