I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Randomize
