Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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