How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
