Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
