p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
