She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
