Just mADE A PArabola og urine
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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