At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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