You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
