i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
