somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
