wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
