is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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