Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
